No awkward lesbian experiences without me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
