I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize