i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
time to smoke my breakfast
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize