Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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