I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize