I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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