I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
