so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
