So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
