he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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