why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
