I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
