got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
