Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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