When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
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I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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