I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
do herpes really smell.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
