He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
