the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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