Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My feet surprised me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
