well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
