I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i came on her dog
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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