I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize