dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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