my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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