if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
