Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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