i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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