I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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