Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
