If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
