It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
