windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
