You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
