I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
