do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
