in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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