a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
