you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
where does the pee come out of this thing
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
