cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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