her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
