We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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