We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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