i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
