Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
