Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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