its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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