Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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