well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she smelled like a LAN party
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
