Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
