Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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