i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She announced her abortion via fbk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize