Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
not ubering you a puppy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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