Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
