Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
