I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
