Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
