she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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