its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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