Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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