yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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