shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize