Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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