you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize